May 8, 2018 marks a year since my Father passed from this world.
I was sorting through some old documents on the computer the other day, and came across this blog post, written in September 2015 that never got published.
I think it’s worthy to share now…….
September 5, 2015
I miss Dad.
Oh, he’s still with us in the physical sense, but his mind has been tumbling in turmoil for about eight years now. We never used the word Alzheimer’s until this past year, before then we just referred to it as Dad’s dementia.
After the last visit home a few months ago I realized Alzheimer’s is winning the battle. My Dad can’t remember what happened 2 mins ago much less the day before. In observing him, it seems his mind keeps him in a world of turmoil, frustration, bewilderment, confusion, and yet peace.
He’s frustrated because he doesn’t understand what is being said to him, bewildered about his surroundings, confused when he tries to dress himself, and at peace when he is alone. That peace is short lived, though, because he constantly calls out to his beloved bride of 64 years if she is not in eyesight.
To find comfort, many times I’ve thought back to the days when Dad had his wit and wisdom, and the lessons I learned from listening to him.
One such memory I cherish are the phone calls we shared after I started at NASA in 2001. I would call him while driving into work in the early morning. Those days he would wake before the sun came up and be reading.
My new position at NASA had me excited and this was an opportunity to share details about my work, and ask for advice. He always had good advice. I treasured these calls. I always counted on him, he was always there.
Those days are long gone, and I pray the memories always stay with me.
Postscript: Rest in Peace Dad, you continue to live within those you touched.